How Not To Write A Query Letter by Smoky Trudeau

Check out the various writing blogs and magazines like Writers Digest and you’ll find plenty of advice on how to write a query letter. What you won’t find is advice on how not to write one.

And, sometimes, knowing how not to do something is as important as knowing how to do it. Here are a few tips on how not to present your work to a publisher.

1. Don’t compare your book to other books.

My second novel, The Cabin, involves time travel. So do Diana Gabaldon’s fabulous Outlander books. Her books have made her practically a household name; her books have sold millions of copies. Now, I believe The Cabin is every bit as good as the Outlander books. But to say that in a query letter would have been arrogant and presumptuous. It is not for the author to compare her books to best sellers. That’s the job of literary critics.

2. Don’t tell the publisher your book is guaranteed to be a best seller.

You don’t know this. You cannot guarantee this. Once again, to write such a thing in a query is arrogant and presumptuous, and will get your query tossed faster than a burning Frisbee. Along the same lines, don’t tell the publisher they’ll regret it if they don’t publish your book. That sounds like a thinly veiled threat. Again, you’ve doomed any chance you had of the publisher even reading the next sentence of your query.

3. Don’t assume a publisher’s submission guidelines don’t apply to you.

They do. Not reading and following a publisher’s submission guidelines to the letter shows the publisher you cannot follow directions, and if you can’t follow simple directions, how is the publisher to know if you can follow an editor’s directions? Don’t send your science fiction novel to a publisher who publishes only romance. Don’t send your literary novel to a publisher who publishes only inspirational non-fiction. Don’t send an entire manuscript if the publisher asks for only a chapter. I cannot stress this enough: follow the submission guidelines to the letter.

4. Don’t admit you’re clueless.

I have seen query letters where the authors admit they’ve never published so much as a Facebook comment. Never, ever admit you are clueless! If you’ve written a good book, if you’ve had it professionally edited, let the book talk for you. If it is good, it doesn’t matter if you’ve never published before. If it isn’t any good, well, it still doesn’t matter.

Be professional. Be courteous. Be humble. Follow the guidelines. Writing a good query letter is really as simple as that.

Smoky Trudeau is the author of two novels, Redeeming Grace and The Cabin, and two nonfiction books especially for writers: Front-Word, Back-Word, Insight Out: Lessons on Writing the Novel Lurking Inside You From Start to Finish; and Left Brained, Write Brained: 366 Writing Prompts and Exercises to Free Your Creative Spirit, Awaken Your Muse, And Challenge Your Skills Every Day of the Year, all from Vanilla Heart Publishing. She has published short stories and poetry in literary journals such as CALYX and online e-zines such as Smashed Ink, and was a 2003 Pushcart Prize nominee.

An ardent outdoorswoman with a deep reverence for nature, Smoky’s newly released book, Observations of an Earth Mage, is a collection of prose, poetry, and photography celebrating the fragile beauty of our planet. She is currently writing her third novel.

Finally succumbing to her bohemian spirit and need to live near the mountains and the ocean, Smoky moved to Southern California in 2008, where she lives with her husband and daughter in a ramshackle cottage in the woods overlooking the San Gabriel Valley and the San Gabriel Mountains beyond. When she isn’t writing, she spends her time hiking in the mountains, camping in the Sierras, splashing in tidepools, and fighting the urge to speak in haiku.

Submission Etiquette by Smoky Trudeau

You’ve written the next Great American Novel—congratulations! But your work isn’t over. Now, you have to present your work to prospective publishers, and there is a right way and a wrong way to do that.

The first step to submitting your work is to study the submission guidelines for each publisher. Some might ask for a query letter and a one-page synopsis. Others may ask for a query letter and the first three chapters, or a one-page synopsis and the first chapter. Every publisher will want something different, and it is important that you send exactly what each requests—no more, no less.

One thing you always will need when making a submission is a query letter. Your query letter should be crafted with as much care as your novel itself, because this is the first example of your writing a publisher will see. Mess up your query letter and your manuscript won’t even be given a glance.

Open your query with a short teaser about your novel. Take a look at the back cover or front flap of any book in your library where the story is described. This is the sort of thing you are looking for—just enough information about the story to make the reader want to read more. Then, if you have any writing experience, say a few words about that. Include any other relevant information as well. For example, if you have a degree in ancient Roman history and your novel is set in ancient Rome, mention your expertise. If your novel is set in some exotic foreign land and you lived there for a year, mention that. This type of information gives your novel credibility. Say what genre the book is, and give the word count.

Whether you’re submitting your query packet or responding to a publisher’s request to see your whole manuscript, watch out for these Really Stupid Things Authors Do To Screw Themselves:

Really Stupid Thing #1: Trusting Your Spell Checker: If ewe think yore spell checker will fined awl yore miss steaks, u r wrong.

Spell checkers are handy, and a useful place to start your proofread. But they’re not infallible, as the above sentence makes clear. That sentence made it through my spell checker just fine.

Then again, you should never trust your own eyes to catch all your mistakes, either. Authors are notorious for being able to catch spelling errors in other writers’ work, but not in their own. This is because the author sees what a sentence is supposed to say, not necessarily what it does say. It’s always a good idea to have someone else read your manuscript before you submit it for publication. Preferably someone you know can spell.

Really Stupid Thing #2: Admitting You Are Clueless. I’ve seen query letter where the author wrote, “I don’t have any experience, but I think my book is very good and know you will too.” Why would you admit you didn’t have any experience? If your book is good, it won’t matter. If your book is awful, it will matter even less. Never, ever give out negative information about yourself this way. If you consider yourself inexperienced, the publisher will, too. Also, don’t presume to know a publisher will like your book. Of course, you hope they will. But you don’t say that. You wouldn’t be submitting your manuscript to them if you didn’t think it was a good match.

Really Stupid Thing #3: Displaying an Over-Inflated Ego. You may think your YA fantasy novel is great, but that doesn’t mean you write “My book is the next Harry Potter and will make me as famous as J.K. Rowling” in your query letter. Book critics decide whether you’re the next Rowling, or Hemmingway, or Faulkner—not authors.

Really Stupid Thing #4: Making Unrealistic Demands. My publisher once got a query letter where the author wrote, “I will require at least a $10,000 cash advance.” Needless to say, that letter got pitched before the publisher got to the next sentence. Yes, some publishers offer cash advances. But certainly not all of them do, especially when you’re talking about independent presses. Even when they do offer advances, they are likely to be a few hundred dollars, not thousands of dollars. This is especially true for unpublished authors. Advances are just that—advance payment of anticipated royalties. Publishers can’t risk shelling out big bucks on an untried author and then not be able to recoup their losses.

Smoky Trudeau is the author of the newly released Observations of an Earth Mage, a collection of photos, essays, and poems celebrating our beautiful planet earth. She is also the author of two novels, Redeeming Grace and The Cabin, as well as two books for writers, Front-Word, Back-Word, Insight Out: Lessons on Writing the Novel Lurking Inside Your From Start to Finish, and Left Brained, Write Brained: 366 Writing Prompts and Exercises, all from Vanilla Heart Publishing. You can learn more about Smoky at www.smokytrudeau.com, or at her blog on Xanga, http://authorsmokytrudeau.xanga.com. You can also look her up on Facebook.

Four Reasons to Go Independent by Smoky Trudeau

You’ve written a book. Congratulations! It’s a big job; most writers give up on their novels about the time they reach chapter seven. Sticking it out to the end is an accomplishment to be proud of.

Now what do you do?

Writers are often shocked to realize writing the words THE END doesn’t mean their work is done. There are still things they need to do in order to make their dream of being published authors a reality. And there is a right way and a wrong way to do these things.

Here is where many writers flounder. Blame Hollywood—television and the movies glamorize the writing life. On film, Joe Writer finishes his novel, submits it to Major Publishing Company, gets offered a $50,000 cash advance, and is flown to New York to meet with his editor and polish the book. Once the book actually is released, he gets sent on a whirlwind book tour around the country, with stops at The Today Show and Oprah.

Reality check: the majority of new books published each year are published by small independent presses, not the major publishing houses. And small presses don’t normally have the resources to offer any cash advance at all, let alone one in the tens of thousands of dollars. Editing services are limited, once again due to budgetary constraints, and while many small presses are happy to help their authors find venues to do a book tour, you’ll have to foot the travel expenses yourself.

So why bother publishing with a small press? What’s in it for you, the author?

(1) First and foremost, you stand a much better chance of getting your book published. Major publishers rarely take a chance on unknown authors. For independents, unknown writers are their bread and butter.

(2) Independent presses are more personal. You’ll get to know your publisher, and they’ll get to know you.

(3) Many indies are reluctant to work with agents, so that cuts out the middleman—and the 15 percent of your royalties they’ll take before you ever see a check. No agent means you get to keep 100 percent of your hard earned royalties.

(4) Because they are small, an independent press is much more likely to work with you to get exposure for your books. One book fails for a major press and it’s not a big deal. One book fails for an independent, and it is sorely felt on their bottom line.

In my next post, I’ll talk about etiquette for authors: the right way—and the wrong way—to query a publisher.


Smoky Trudeau is the author of the newly released Observations of an Earth Mage, a collection of photos, essays, and poems celebrating our beautiful planet earth. She is also the author of two novels, Redeeming Grace and The Cabin, as well as two books for writers, Front-Word, Back-Word, Insight Out: Lessons on Writing the Novel Lurking Inside Your From Start to Finish, and Left Brained, Write Brained: 366 Writing Prompts and Exercises, all from Vanilla Heart Publishing. You can learn more about Smoky at www.smokytrudeau.com, or at her blog on Xanga, http://authorsmokytrudeau.xanga.com. You can also look her up on Facebook.